How to add value in your relationships

Dr. MarkChiropractic Care, Emotional Balance, Personal Health, Physical StrengthLeave a Comment

It’s February; the month of love; and we all want to make our significant other feel special. We also, want our efforts to feel validated when we impress someone who is very close to us. Isn’t that why we do most things? Even if we say we are doing it for someone else; we know that in doing so; it will also give us the warm fuzzy feeling in our hearts. That is what our body craves. That warm fuzzy feeling is a release of chemical reactions in our body that make us happy; or feel good; or validate what we just did was a good thing for ourselves. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that our actions will be good for someone else, but that isn’t always the case. This doesn’t give us that awesome chemical reaction of happiness we were looking for. What if we could master the way of figuring that out? What if we could know beforehand that what we are doing is actually going to make the other person happy; wouldn’t that be GREAT!

Learning Styles

We all have heard about the three learning styles; (Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic) but have we ever applied them outside of a classroom setting? Have you ever considered that maybe the way to impress someone is figuring out how they best interpret information? I’ll give you a quick example. Let’s say you are making dinner for someone, and this person processes information best via touch, or feel. This is an example of someone who is kinesthetic; and you happen to be visual; and you are the one making the special valentine’s day dinner. In your mind, you are all about the visual appeal. You will go to great lengths to make sure that the table is set; the apartment is clean; candles are lit; roses are red, etc. Now your date comes in and she is impressed, but not amazed. She tells you that she would have rather made the dinner with you, because it involves a lot more interaction and movement between the both of you. Since she processes information better via touch and feel, it is going to have a greater impact on a sub-conscious level and have more meaning to her than how the dinner visually looked.

Which learning style are you?

Why does this matter?

Our bodies our designed to have one learning style or modality in which we express BEST. This doesn’t mean we don’t use all three of them, however we have one that feels more natural to us. This means it’s easier for us to process the information and move forward, through that modality. This could be huge for communication between two individuals. Let’s say your child isn’t behaving the way you want him/her to act. It could be a simple task like cleaning the room, and we know that the individual is a kinesthetic leaner. Raising your voice and yelling at the individual will not get the point across to them. It may actually defer the child from doing the job; and make them uncomfortable; because their body can’t process what’s going on. A kinesthetic individual reacts best to touch and movement. A different approach may be to put your hand on the individuals back (touch) and walk them to the room (movement) and say in a nice voice that they need to clean the room. This allows the child to process the information with ease; and in doing so; you will get better results with that task you are asking your child to do.

Common Characteristics of the learning styles


  • Things need to look organized
  • Responds best to pictures and colors
  • Craves structure, needs to see the big picture
  • Will explain how they are feeling through visual cues
  • Will lock eyes upon conversation


  • Will remember conversations with ease
  • Will listen to audio books over reading
  • Can hear multiple conversations at once
  • Can differentiate tone and pitch of voice
  • Eye to eye contact is hard to do, will turn head during a conversation to listen clearly


  • Can’t sit still
  • Open book
  • Act first, think second
  • Will have hand gestures during conversation
  • Will explain how they feel more frequent

These are just a few common characteristics of the learning styles that one will show if that is their dominant learning style. As we grow, we learn to use all three styles and can master any of the learning styles. However, we will always resort back to our dominant learning style when our body is under stress. This is the giveaway on figuring out what is our dominant learning style.

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